Enough About You, Let's Talk About Me

I highly recommend Enough About You, Let's Talk About Me, by Dr. Les Carter. Solid examples and clear, common sense writing.

Some excerpts:

p. 4 People with a full narcissistic behavior pattern are so completely, even pathologically self-absorbed that they lack empathy, can be thin-skinned, and demonstrate very low levels of true awareness of themselves or others.

p. 5 A high percentage of the people who come to me for counseling reveal that their problems have been either instigated or greatly worsened by very selfish or manipulative people . . . By definition, narcissists have a very low ability to incorporate someone else's version of reality because they see themselves as the ultimate keepers of truth. They admit no wrong, or if they ever do admit wrong, it is only a matter of time before they convince themselves they are actually right.

p. 10 Narcissists are not genuine. . . They are more interested in posturing for favorable reactions than being known as authentic . . . They enter relationships looking for ways to coerce others to do their bidding.

p. 11 Underlying the manipulative behavior of narcissists is a belief that they are entitled to have others do whatever they want or need.

p. 13 The need to be special is so central to narcissists that they repeatedly lie to themselves about their own importance . . .

p. 18 As narcissists ignore truth and invent their own alternative realities, they are not free but imprisoned by their own falsehoods. Over time, it becomes a prison they cannot escape.

p. 19 Narcissism represents personal immaturity at its worst.

p. 59 When you persistently tolerate others' rude or intrusive behaviors, you are saying that you do not believe that you possess enough dignity to stand up for your needs or convictions.

p. 77 Passive-aggressive narcissists find a perverse delight when they know they have generated strong responses of anger in others. As they witness how others fume or rage in response to their stubbornness, they indulge the thought, "This proves how you are inferior to me, and that means I control you."

p. 89 Narcissists define pain differently from the way the average person does. To them, pain means they are not getting their way. . . for narcissists who feel anger or pain at entirely reasonable demands or decisions, their response can be understood as an adult version of a toddler's temper tantrum.

p. 91 Narcissists anchor on the question, "What are you going to do to make my day go better?"

p. 94 . . . Holding them accountable to the consequences of their actions is one of the few ways to convey the message that you intend to be taken seriously. . . Because narcissists like being in tight control, they are likely to protest greatly when someone applies consequences. They will likely express outrage, but usually that rage is a cover for panic. . . They are so enamored of their own special status that they are convinced that others' lives would be much better if they would give them control. This explains why they can be persuasive, stubborn, and bossy.