Immoral and Bad

It became apparent early on that some things were important to my father in law, including the need to be obeyed immediately and without question. Anytime you disagreed with him, you were to considered reprehensible not because you were seeing things in a different way, but because you were immoral and a bad son for not adopting his view. This in spite of the fact that the way he did things was often unproductive and lacking in efficiency and common sense.

It is characteristic of narcissists that they do not ask questions unless they have to, because this means they are vulnerable and need something. It also means you have failed in your duty to read their divine mind. Instead of "Will you please pass the sugar?" they will make the audible statement, "This cereal needs sugar," and then expect you to run get the sugar bowl for them. In this way they assert their divinity and your subservience.

If he said something like, this portion of the pasture isn't being properly watered, it meant that he was not only giving you responsibility for all the pastures being properly watered, but that he would take credit for everything you did right. And blame you for anything that went wrong, even if it was his fault.

A pretty sweet way to get through life, to be justified in everything you do, and always have someone handy to blame things on when anything goes wrong.